If there were vocation promoters during her time, my mother would have entered the convent. In hindsight, she had qualities that we usually associate with being a Sister, but if she did, I would not have been here. I guess I got the seeds of my vocation from her. Then when I entered high school in St. Joseph College, Maasin, Southern Leyte, which was formerly run by the Missionary Benedictine Sisters, these seeds germinated through my contact with the Sisters. I became a member of religious clubs, such as the Sodality of Mary, Student Catholic Action, and Glee Club, whose moderators were Sisters. Almost all my Religion teachers were Sisters, too.
The call became audible when I was in second-year high school. Sr. Esther Erestain, OSB chose me to portray the Blessed Virgin Mary in a stage presentation. I remember we had a picture taken in the convent gardens with me on top of “carrozza” and my fellow Sodalist in gala kneeling in front among the ground orchids. That experience made me long to be Mary-like always and what closer step to that goal than becoming a Sister! I told my mother about it and she had no objections. It would be a different story with my father later on.
Meantime I went through the years in school like a normal girl would, except that I was into too much reading. I had secret crushes, too but when a boy would express his intention, my standard reply was, “I want to be a Sister someday.” My mother died when I was in my second year of college. After my college graduation, I felt the need to be away from home, because my father married our helper. Together with my brother, I went to Cebu and I enrolled at the University of San Carlos taking up an M.A. in Literature, but I did not finish the course, because the reason why I had to be away vanished with the arrival of my baby half-sister. I wanted to help the family. I had a short teaching stint in a public high school. Then I returned to St. Joseph College (SJC). It was there that Sr. Alice Sobreviñas, OSB “pursued” me. She always invited me to Vespers with other ladies. This time the Sisters were no longer engaged in the school. Sr. Mary Vincent Feliciano, OSB gave me a battery of tests. I entered in the summer of 1981, but after only 7 months, I asked permission to go out. Father was happy. I taught at SJC for one year. But in the summer of 1983, I asked to go back. Father cried but told me to go where I would be happy. The thought of going out came again during the month-long retreat before the final profession and after three years during a crisis. In all these moments of infidelity, God was very patient with me and so were my formators. Today I can sincerely say that from 1992 up to the present, that thought of going out again has not crossed my mind. Perhaps, with God’s grace, I have finally learned stabilitas cordis.
